The Female Orgasm: Finding the O in “Oh God!”

I would like to make a very clear, and very public announcement, and I really hope a shit ton of Middle Eastern men read this. Because fellas, I’ve spoken with my girlfriends, and the consensus is, a lot of you are clueless. Like, totally, dumb. Some of our sisters are even gravitating more towards your foreign bros, because at least they’ve taken sex ed. You think you have a magical penis that induces earth-shattering orgasms in 60-120 seconds. Well, here’s the announcement. You don’t. It takes work, and a little research, and a little giving a damn in the first place, to reach that happy place with your woman.

Guys, if I had ten bucks for every time a dude told me, “well, they don’t fake it with me” *smirk*, I could live out the rest of my days on some balmy, sandy beach island, sipping those cool cocktails with the tiny umbrellas. Men take this sort of thing super serious, it’s a testament of their manhood, their ability to deliver. The Provider of Climaxes .. tun-tun-na-naaaaaa! If only they actually cared about women orgasming, and not just the image of themselves delivering said orgasms like Superschlong. This isn’t YouPorn, this is real life.

Women fake it, they fake it a lot, and they fake it good. Most of the time, they fake it to make their men feel secure because they love them, sometimes they fake it because they don’t know what it even feels like, and a lot of the time… they fake it to just get on with their day already or get some sleep because they have a feeling that orgasm isn’t coming anyway.

The female orgasm is different than the male orgasm, in execution, length, and necessary conditions. Men’s orgasms are pretty straightforward: erection, stroke, ejaculate. Clearly, this is speaking in a general and average sense, both men and women’s orgasms can be affected by external factors in life. But in ideal conditions, during intercourse, it takes a woman 10-20 minutes on average to reach climax compared to the 7-14 minutes it takes for a man.

Also, did you know only 30-40% of women have experienced orgasm from vaginal penetration alone? Yes, there is the ever elusive “g spot” that provides internal vaginal orgasms if stimulated, but that is a topic for another article. Far more women experience clitoral orgasms. So let’s talk clits. You’ll thank me later.

MRI studies suggest that the clit is actually not as small and unassuming as people believe. The clitoris is actually quite a large, bulbous structure measuring nearly 9 cm in length, bearing a similar resemblance to a wishbone. It extends around the outer vagina and up inside the pelvis alongside the urethra. At the head of this wishbone is the glans – the external part that most people can feel and see, and also the most sensitive part, allowing stimulus. Both the clitoris and the penis are derived from the same tissue while a baby is developing, which explains the similarities in swelling, nerve structure and build up/release.

You may be wondering.. Why is all this scientific mumbo jumbo important or relevant? Well, as you can now clearly envision, clitoral nerve endings reach allll up in and around the vagina. And if you stimulate the clitoris DURING sex … yes, you will need to practice on concentrating, doing two things at the same time, and probably switch positions a few times… (there’s that pesky work bit) If you do that! Your woman will have an orgasm. and all her vaginal muscles will tighten. and it will feel awesome, and you will feel awesome, and everythingggggg is awesome! everything is cool when you’re part of a team!

Sorry, had to end it with the LEGO song. Now go! Practice!

….. You wanna hear the song, don’t you. Ok, fine, here.


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